Archive for October, 2007

29
Oct
07

buttercup

Something someone did for my birthday.

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thank you lucy diamond. kepala sudah separuh dimakan.

22
Oct
07

dissapear

let me dissapear from all this drama.

i dont know what i want, i dont know what i need.

f to the ucking nut.

21
Oct
07

k a r m a .. f*c%ing aftermath

emo emo emo emo. today is the day full of emo-ism.

draw the line. yes im trying too. give me time. i get the point and you kinda made me into a believer that there is such thing as karma. usually i dont believe in stuff like that.. but i do believe that if you do something which is super wrong, the payback is there.. macam bunuh orang ke.. or that type lah.

sometimes, you just cant keep on saying that ‘karma will hit you, it will’.. because my beliefs is that if you keep on saying it all the time.. yes it will hit you. my opinion on my side is that.. if i believe strongly on karma.. i think by now i should be dead already because of all the sins i have done should have killed me instantaneously. s e r i o u s.

sigh. event which happened today.

1. face – off with the past

2. face – off with the current

3. face – off with the future

what more can i ask?

thank god for monday tomorrow. i need to go to the gym to kill myself while running.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. let me scream.

20
Oct
07

after party

had a small drinking session on friday to close my birthday festivities.. heh heh. im determined this year to make my birthday celebrations to be a lil longer. yeay!

so friday.. me and some friends headed down to heritage row for the KENT event.. to have some drinks.. and the funny thing was.. i k-o-ed too early. like 1230 i think?

was quite embarassing since i was vomitting all over the place.. inside and outside of the bar and got carried into my own bloody car. what i remembered was.. i think i dont. heeheheh..

anyways, thanks to the kawan kawan who was there celebrating and bringing me safe back hoomeee!! **love**

18
Oct
07

anxiety attack.

time : 1159pm. 

thats it. im officially depressed.

was driving on my way home from buying nasi lemak bungkus at jalan 222, and halfway i was struck by a panic attack.. i was feeling so sebak suddenly.. and i dont know whats wrong. the feeling of susah hati went over me.. and until now I cannot stop!

God, please help me.

I need someone now… badly.

18
Oct
07

the birthday

go shorty.. its your birthday.. we’re gonna party tonight.. is your birthday!

 **originally written on the 17th but got a little tipsy and dozed off for a whole day and woke up at 6pm. tsk tsk.. not so productive day**

my day has passed.. and off to a new year.. it was a pleasant celebration for me this year.. nobody pissed me off and unexpected people gave me their wishes.. thank you all.

had dinner at the banquet yesterday…

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referred by *jiran*.. and i totally heart this place. the setting, the food and the hospitality of the manager. the setting was cool.. and makes you feel as though you’re in a garden altho the place is in the middle of a mall.

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the menu..

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well.. my mom had the wild rocket salad.. sister had some pasta.. and @ had lamb shank.. but the best dish was obviously my dish.. oven baked butter fish served with honey mustard..trust me.. i wish im still having it till today…

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           delish delish delicious!

after the dinner.. the ritual birthday cake comes in.. and my sister’s attempt to be all sweet and got me a heart shaped cake from bakerzin`. Eiww. heart shape? thank god the cake tasted good. =D

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after dinner me and *jiran* and matkib went over to breeze to have some drinks.. and the ‘must try’ drink would be the vodka apple with soda.. yummilicious.

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one thing I love about Breeze and TTDI plaza is the environment… place looks posh.. but comfortable to chill out..you could actually hang out at the bars by dressing casually like slippers and shorts.

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          *jiran* and matkib

at 1159pm on the 17/10/07… we raised our glasses and ended the day. bye bye 24 and hello to 25.. hope the year brings me all the luck that I can get.

again.. thanks to all who wished me and love to my mom, sister and lovelies. thanks for being there to celebrate my birthday.

16
Oct
07

quarter century

October 17th 2007, 0055 hours

yes, ive turned 25.

the sweetest thing people did for me today :

1. having our ritual surprise birthday singing by the lovelies.

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2. getting text messages from 2 faraway lovelies in London and one from Singapore and one from Johor.

3. My mom staying up to (which she rarely does) to wish me Happy Birthday.. i love you mom.

4. Getting a hug for my birthday at work. 😉

the sweetest message today :

“Happy Birthday… haha.. finally full moon edy ya.. may your journey of career goes smoothly and carve your name on it but dont smear it. Whatever you do I’ll always support you but must be within specific logic. But not when youre crazy!”

the unexpected thing today :

Meeting my favourite adek and also a few people texting me their wishes on my birthday which I would never thought of texting me. Sweet!

what i’ve wished for:

1. good health and a growing career path

2. good health for my family and lovelies

3. you. 

and the day has yet to start! I wonder what surprises (I hope there are.. wishful thinking) but doesnt matter.. Im just hoping for it to be a wonderful day.

Anyways, at the stroke of midnight, creeping into a new year (while wishing before i blew the candle) ..made me think. What do I have, what do I want.

What do I have :

1. Having the greatest mom and sis anyone could ever asked for. 

2. Being blessed by having the best lovelies supporting me and have always been there for me.

3. Having a fun job.

4. Having a healthy and well life.

What do I want : (this is not a wish list, but if you want to fulfill em.. why not?)

1. A new wardrobe

2. More money  –> update.. thanks sis! yeay!

3. Camera flash or anything to do with camera accesories.. or a Lomo

4. Someone who can take care of me.. AHAH? .. interesting.

For point no. 4 –> Yes, right now I long for someone who can make me laugh, make me happy and take care of me. I wonder who can fill up dem shoes.

Well, a friend told me.. “to make people to like you, first you have to love yourself and people will follow suit to love you.” I wonder if it’s true. Seriously, I have a personality issue of what people would perceive of me. Biggest factor contributor was from school, where everyone but me was “accepted” into the cool gang and I wasnt, and everyone is getting a partner and I wasnt.

But to hell with that. Im a grown up. If I want that person really bad, I’ll get it. And yes, I’m trying. (Damn do I sound like a psycho?.. I think I do). And I hope you like me back. 😉

Everyday whenever I’m alone (when Im in the car driving to work, smoking by meself or whatever), I just have this feeling of something which is not fulfilled. Well, *jiran’s* boyfriend pointed it out. “sometimes when I look at you, you have the lost look on your face”. I realized, definitely that was the feeling I had. L O S T. I need someone right now to make me feel wanted and to make me feel accepted for who I am (since I dont have all the physical attractions – correction : none)

So yeah, thanks for the wishes to those who texted/called and hope they will come true.

Cheer’s to the new year!