24
Nov
07

the wait is finally over

to continue the previous entry, the wait is now finally over.

i’ve got my letter finally.. and yea.. at first i found that what i’ve got for myself was pretty.. okay.. until i found out more news from others.

“I’VE GOT GYPPED!”

yea. as discussed before with a friend from work before… we agreed that generation these days are more on to the title of the job rather than the money. well, the logic works that with the title of the positions, comes more money. correcto mundo?

hmm.. there i was walking out from the room feeling confused as they were saying something about some organizational changes which is still uncertain since the effect would be that new deployment will take place. now, the next wait will happen.

what made me unhappy for the day is to find out that certain people got promoted.. and within the team, someone actually did.. someone important to me. no doubt im happy, overjoyed on her promotion.. but look, im still human… and it was a giant fat slap on my face and plus that my ego was torn shredded to pieces. what did i do wrong, what am i not being right? am i not capable enough? am i THAT incompetent? am i not that exceptional?! well, thats the questions which im sure will be left unanswered. i felt so tired suddenly because of all the work i’ve done for the year.. it looks like its all in the bin and i feel unappreciated.

as *x-girl* told me, allow yourself to wallow in self pity for a day.. take the weekend if you have to. promise myself that i’ll be able to think rationally once monday comes. will see if that happens, and i hope it will.

I cant remember when was the last time i cried, but i remembered that i’ve never cried so much in a day sampai mata sakit and bengkak gile. hahaha. i cant stop crying the whole day and carried on till the next day. penat i tell ya.

at least i’ve learnt something now, the fucking hard facts of life. life treats you fair at times, but could screw you up real good once in a while.

**am hoping for better days to come**

well, its been a day plus after i’ve got the news, and im feeling okay a lil.. still upset but yea. as much as i cry, the world is not gonna change from my tears. comfort words contribution of ms alicia keys :

“I Don’t Worry Cause
Everything’s Gonna Be Alright
People Keep Talking
They Can Say What They Like
But All I Know Is Everything Is Gonna Be Alright

 No one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what Im feeling. “

sekian.

note : update on the plant project which I was telling earlier? ITS DEAD. how more blergh can my life be.

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