29
Nov
07

im an ass.. definite inconsiderable jerk.

voila. today was definitely….. dont know how to describe it.. wonderful? normal? sad?

definitely t’was a normal day at the office. i was back to me happy cheerful way where kacau-ing everybody is a norm. the mood got incredibly better after lunch since i got to talk and found out what i did wrong… and i felt slightly better since ive got to know what i did and talk it out. throughout the afternoon till eve.. t’was raining heavily and after a long time.. i stayed back in the office till 7pm due to the traffic outside the office was not moving..

once i got home, on my lappie to do me ritual blog and opened up a particular blog page… OMG (not being a drama) but yea, a definite omg that i realized how a jerk i have been.. an ass or whatever because i was inconsiderate enough to listen deeply on how someone was feeling. t’was really funny that the person that i most cared about, the first person that always comes to me mind, i end up not listening to how the person was really feeling.

 im not that type of person where i just sit down and not listen. i am a definite listener.. thats what i have been doing my whole life (but not when it comes to things associated with my well-being tho) but yea.. definite listener to others who needs someone to be there for them.. sickening part about this is how could i mis-look on this one. Sigh..

again.. Im so sorry for not listening and importantly.. definite sorry that i hurt you. something which i did not expect and mebbe that i was just too shocked by the news. like i said, i’ve promised not to make you cry.. and i intend not to. itulah, bitter lagi si qookie nie.. seriously know i now how bad being bitter, moody and all can cloud my emotions/ judgements. and whoa.. i’ve never been so patient in my life, but what ive learnt so far after this 2 weeks is if im not being patient enough, definitely i’ll lose what matters to me. Call me emotional call me whatever.. but im just human.

Usually its hard to make me cry over something small.. usually im strong enough to hold on because there’s no point of me crying over it.. but like i said.. this past 2 weeks has been quite a bummer and i guess suppresed feelings all came out in the open. I never cry over people and if i do.. its because that person matters to me.

not that im selling myself, but i just dont want on how i was feeling turn all this thing around. Its bad enough that Im just about to know a person that the person caught me at a bad time. Maybe its fate.

thanks for putting things into perspective.

p a i n. s t r u c k. b a d. g u i l t h a s b l o w n o v e r.

sekian.

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