25
Jan
08

friday night lights.

thank god the weekdays over. weekends.. welcome.

its been a hectic week and i didnt not get a chance to actually sit down and check my mails or blog. and for the 3 days i didnt blog.. i missed it terribly.

achievement of the week :

1. photowalk for the chariot procession in KL

2. Thaipusam photowalk at Batu Caves – now i can cross that off my list of taking pictures in BC.. success!

3. Pulled off an event in the office without any complaints from the attendees. Success!

4. Met up with my lovely lil sister after her attempt of meeting me up after my Thaipusam photowalk.. phew, that was an exhausting walk.

 what did i not achieve for this week :

1. WORKOUTS! no yoga, no gym, no training at home. omg. im just to fat. i feel like shit.

2. get my photos developed.. doing that during the weekends.

3. plentiful rest

4. uploading my photos from the thaipusam photowalks! (this week this week)

 dsc_0636-1.jpg

something nice someone did for me today. i know that the stress level that i have may not be as hard as some people in other dept where the fella is being left alone that almost everybody in his team resigned. anyways, this week has been a terrible week for me at work. i cant remember the last time ive gotten this stress for the whole week.. but heck. its for the greater good as what they say(tho i dont find a future with this company).. the idiots that i have to work for, geezez.. but anyhoo. it was a nice surprise to drudgingly drag myself to my workplace and see a cookie on my table with the attached note. thanks for the surprise.. something which made me feel that it was a good way to begin the day with.

Going through the day, got me to some thinking. after the “downward” trail that i’ve been following.. am i okay? i realized over this short period of time, i’d rather spend time with myself by being a loner in the stuff that i do and not meeting up others. somehow it felt more comfortable. i do miss them a lot as in the things that we do together.. but after what happened i just dont want to “burden” all of em with my whining and emotalks. seems troublesome eh. there are other people who may have it worse than what i had, but as a human/individual you cant feeling what you feel and with the added emotional streak, sometimes you tend to think that your problem is the biggest problem in the whole entire galaxy. somehow somewhat, things has changed for me. as much as ive recovered, there is a certain part of me which remains as hard as a stone that i would rather not let anybody to come in. my life has always been an open book so that people would accept me for who i actually am and not being a hypocrite of not displaying my true self. The world is full of em, and i do not intend to add another into the population. So yeah, the whine stops.

im at the state of.. i dont know. unstable grounds i suppose. after 8 years of relationships and a half a month date, i realized that im actually scared of it. Not that im scared of rejection. but somehow you know that you’re not ready to invest yourself into another “string” because you dont want to end up dissapointing the other party and if thing happens.. well. its all good aye? Girls are delicate creatures to be attended to, although im a girl.. i dont know what are they thinking or what they will do next. “Spur of the moment” decisions. Sigh.

well. think about it that there are some things which we cant help to talk about, the things we just dont want to listen, days which will finally result on to say something because we cannot be silent any longer.Some things are more than what you say, they are what we do. there are some stuffs that you may say but because theres no other choice. there are some things that you keep it to yourself but not too often and seems that every now and then some things simply speaks for themselves.

Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freakin’ ocean.

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