pose baby.. pose..

I pulled this.. Yikes.

I pulled this.. Yikes.

my favourite picture for the week.. or maybe month.. thanks mira for taking a good shot of this pic despite your disapproval of my kangkang legs.. i think this is still a good pic.
let me tell you about myself. i have been through a lot of self realization lately and i know that i have a very low self esteem on my appearance and my confidence. i am what you call a very andro-ish type of person ( like du-uh, being gay and all) so for most of the people i know, they’re just used to see myself in pants, shorts and tshirt/shirts. i have my fair share of wearing femme clothing but somehow, the people couldnt accept me at the time, calling me names, hurtful names which definitely pulls down my confidence. so there onwards, i started to just wear simple stuff like tshirts/jeans/shirts, leaning towards masculinity.
after so many years.. finally i started wearing dresses again.. and to be exact with details, it was yesterday. somehow, it felt great and comfortable wearing a dress out ( a black cheongsam short dress ) and never have i received so many compliments, encouragement for wearing a dress. (Even got hit on both girls and guys.. which is really really unexpected) haha. didnt think that i could actually pulled it off.. and i did.. and it felt damn good yo.
i was speaking to a friend of mine after she saw my photo posted on facebook, and she was telling me “you wanna know why you manage to pull that photo or look off? because you have the confidence babe.. i can see that in you now and im proud of it”. so yea, what im trying to say here is that its good to have encouragement from people who matters, but what is important is how you feel about yourself. i do still receive negative comments about me wearing that dress in that picture which may sound a bit.. hurtful.. but heck.. what other people say does not matter, is what you think about yourself which matters.
its my 3rd day in a dress now. and it feels so good. am gonna stick to this femme stuff for a bit.
Hello World. hottie qookie coming your way. 😉

5 Responses to “pose baby.. pose..”

  1. November 25, 2008 at 1:25 am

    nasty comments… why?

    you’re totally rockin’ the dress!

  2. 2 qonfuzedqookie
    November 25, 2008 at 10:36 am

    hey justine..

    nasty comments where people couldnt accept me being different from my normal self. i guess theyre just too used to see me being tomboy-ish and all so yea, wearing something which is femme-like is a lil too much for them. but heck. dont care much now since its all about myself and not what other people think. 😉

    thanks for your comments and also dropping in!

  3. November 29, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Babe, you look extremely hot in here. And those legs, damn girl!! Eh I thought you migrated to a different blog?

  4. November 29, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Btw, would like to add that society has a major role in molding what you become all based on physical judgments which start at a very young age. Growing out of what we were used to, or how we were, is a huge sign of self-confidence, being who you really are, or who you’ve always wanted to be, but was too shy to. So yay for dresses! Personally I pun prefer shirts and pants. Susahlah nak duduk sopan-sopan, I prefer to like spread my legs. Okay, too graphic there. Hahahaha.

  5. 5 qonfuzedqookie
    November 30, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    hey anna!

    thanks and yeap.. i did migrated to a different blog but migrated back here. to come to think about it.. macam banyak pulak la benda dalam this blog which i shouldnt let go. 😉

    and i totally agree with your point that society has a major role in molding who we are. not to say that we can actually not care about what they think, but im sure for most that the society definitely has an influence or at least a minor impact on the individuals behaviour or appearance. ok. dah start merapu.

    and yes.. yeay to dresses! but pants memang senang la.. nak spread spread nie.. heheheh.

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